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I loves my step-bro (but not in a gay way).
He just rang with two possible jobs for me- full-time gardening job with reportedly very sexy pay and another mannying job that he thought might be "a bit basic".
Tough call because I like gardening and lifting shit but I also like working with kids.

Sub-plot: of the four people I had to get in touch with today the hardest was the phone company and the easiest was the capoeiristas, so it must be opposite day.

I was mad at you and I guess I took it out on a perfectly innocent plastic potato,
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Hm, budgeting. It kind of looks like I'm gonna have to go back to the ol' autism therapy if I want to live the high-flying life of people who, y'know, eat. And play capoeira (and yes, that's as vital as eating).
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OK seriously, what the hell is a twizzler? People just keep mentioning them. Is it a lolly? Chips? Some really uncomfortable avant-garde underwear experiment?
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Stupid loving parents. "Oh, you've lost your voice, let's just drive to Sydney and help you pack, and then we'll put you up for the next two nights in a fancy-schmancy hotel!" OK, I realise that doesn't actually sound very bad, but I've spent my whole life trying to prove I am not the spoiled Golden Boy of the family and shit like this doesn't help.

And I'm sick of seeing the upside and all the brave-new-world crap: I haven't even left Sydney yet and I miss it. I miss my friends, I miss my work, I miss my life. This sucks.
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Turns out seafood gumbo doesn't keep forever.
That was really gross.
On the upside my fridge is now gone so I HAVE to get takeaway :)

My daddy was a TV, my mommy was a magazine,
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Much packing, much washing, much cleaning of fridge.
May have new flatmates lined up, they seem like nice guys. I have omitted any reference to nudism or blood sacrifices in my emails but hopefully I can just sneak those under the radar.
Had a great weekend with the girlfriend, families 1 and 2, and the friends of the girlfriend.

I can't kill my psychiatrist yet, I need another therapy session.
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Here's how Harry Potter would be if Hogwarts had the same problems as a regular school:

Dobby appears and gravely warns that "Harry Potter must not return to Hogwarts!...There is a lice outbreak."

Ginny terrifies Tom Riddle's spirit with thousands of pages of Draco/Harry slashfic.

Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans include "pot" and "brandy nicked from the Dursley's liquor cabinet" flavours.

Anyone attacked by a cockatrice must provide a signed doctor's note if they are going to be petrified for more than two days.

Moaning Myrtle would have an emo fringe.

Snape fails his mandatory police background check for being a FREAKIN DEATH EATER.

The Dementors patrol the school grounds looking for Sirius Black, but they all have to wear badges saying "Visitor".


Apr. 11th, 2008 05:05 pm
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Well, that's pretty much the end of Woodbury for me.
I should be happier, shouldn't I? All I can think about is one of the students wouldn't let go of my hand today. He tried to drag me into class with him and when his therapist guided him away he turned and ran back. He just hugged and hugged and wouldn't let go. It happened four times throughout the day, every time I saw him. He's not verbal, his receptive language isn't even very good but I swear he knew I was going.
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Phone repairs will cost up to $150. Bugger.
Two more boxes packed. Woot!
Finished all my Dexter DVDs, very satisfied :)

Just like a dinner party, but we all have sex after the sweets,
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As established, I suffer from James Bond Syndrome: I wear out and/or break equipment, clothes, etc. But the latest wear and tear is a bit speedier than usual...
...remember my new phone? The one I just got? All I did today was put it in my pocket. Then I accidentally bumped my side on a desk. That was enough to crack the display slightly, which was enough to prevent the screen from working at all. So in short, new phone trashed, Tom heading back to the 3 store tomorrow.

Speaking of James Bond, am I going bugfuck or was Goodhead a doctor?

Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.


Apr. 6th, 2008 08:48 pm
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So yeah, he's a sociopathic serial killer and she's an emotionally-damaged divorcee, but watching them trying to have sex when she's scared of it and he doesn't understand it is actually kind of...cute. They're so polite about it all :D

God I love Dexter.

In other news, here's my Sunday in brief:
*The apartment's become a nest, there's boxes and junk everywhere, and this morning I had to get out, so I headed to the beach.
*Beach the First had a completely full car park so I went to the nudist beach down the road, but had to trek across the forest, old military forts and bluffs to actually find it. Took twenty minutes to get to the damn beach, but definitely worth it. Water was chilly but I got some decent sun before the storm rolled in.
*Headed straight from the beach to have lunch with Jo and Fer, was great fun :)
*Got back to Jo and Fer's place and Jo had too much work to do so Fer and I spent the afternoon in Borders, where I bought all of season one of Dexter.
*May have found an apartment that contains neither a smoker nor a cat, woot!
*The 14 CDs of awesomeness are now burnt to Sleek, including a very cool Black Eyed Peas song that samples Jack Johnson!

I will be your Berlin wall and I will never fall,

Hill Trough

Apr. 5th, 2008 06:57 pm
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I am sick of packing and cleaning and bottles falling and shattering when you place them on SLIGHTLY slanted surfaces. Damn uppity physics.
I haven't done weights or capoeira for a week and my posture's been crap, so I'm feeling pretty lame and uncoordinated.
Also my internet bill's going to be massive since pretty much all I've done lately is go online looking at picture-heavy sites like webcomics and porn. Mostly porn.
And OK, yeah, I am a little sad to say goodbye to all this. Maybe more than a little.

I might have landed a job as a manny, fingers crossed. They seem pretty impressed with me.
Also found a few good places to live, although the rent's assure me I can live with them until I am well into my 40's.
I'm selling my white goods, which means I don't have to worry about paying for transport and storage in Canberra, plus I get a bit of money :)
Ben's parents are the nicest people on earth. I was gonna go around there for dinner tonight but they said instead they'd rather do it the week before I left when I was completely out of food, PLUS they lent me fourteen CDs from their collection to burn (and Nigel's got surprisingly modern and indy taste).

awake is the new sleep,
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Gladiators is a weird show. I have a crush on Angel the Gladiatrix, and WOULD have a crush on Amazon (she fits my type pretty well- fit, mohawk, mildly sociopathic) except she sets off my transgen-dar.

Anyway, hottie warrior women aside, the show is just...odd. The marketing makes it look like they're gonna beat the ever-loving tar out of each other and then it turns out to be guys in mandex hitting each other with giant q-tips.

I just can't imagine standing next to a woman who keeps acting like her hand is a viper striking and not giggling. She did it like ten times in the show. She did it more than she talked. And she looked so damn SERIOUS about it, like "fear my hand, for it contains VENOM!"

I will say this though, [livejournal.com profile] melissajane14 is right- if I was a 12 year old this would be AWESOME!

playtex, foam, angry expression- I'm good to go!

New list

Mar. 29th, 2008 07:22 pm
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So, since I'm halfway through another transformation, thought I might as well set some new extra-curricular goals:
1. I want to go to Scotland and get blind stinking drunk.
2. ...


Actually yeah, that's pretty much it.

Happy Earth Hour! Everyone in Australia better have their lights out in half an hour.
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Ever since I was a little labra-monkey I've needed durable stuff. I always quickly wore out shoes, glasses, jeans, etc. The trend continues...

*Tom walks into 3 store, explains his phone stopped working on the weekend to nice lady Erin 3 (I figure they all take on 3 as a last name, like the Suicide Girls).
*Erin 3 opens the case and has a look.
*Erin 3 explains phone has water damage. A LOT of water damage. Gives Tom the "Did you take this piece of delicate technology swimming?" look (not the first time Tom has received this look).
*Erin 3 then notices the display is cracked. Asks if it is melted. Tom explains it is just cracked. Erin 3 shifts gears to the "Did you take this piece of delicate technology with you while playing football?" look (again, not the first time Tom has received this look).
*Upside: Tom apparently has nice "customer loyalty" points and can upgrade to pretty much any phone in the store. Erin 3 suggests the phone with the crystal display (you can stab it with a knife and it won't scratch!) but Tom opts for a chunky monkey phone instead.
*Downside: seems like only half the sim card transferred properly so I'm out some phone numbers and pictures, but hopefully will get that sorted soon.

Did you see the pool? They flipped the bitch!
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I'm in a weird mood- all I want to do is drink soup and make a little fort.
Which I guess isn't that weird, I usually want to make a little fort, but the soup thing's new.

Going to visit the good people at 3 tomorrow to find out why/how my phone burnt itself out, and if they'd kindly replace it.
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I was munching on some mini-easter-eggs a minute ago, and I just finished the last one, but I can't shake the feeling that there's one more that I've dropped somewhere. Which is interesting, because I'm in bed.

Looks like I'm in for a chocolatey sleep.

What goat?
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OPTION 1: Clean apartment, do laundry, pack for tomorrow's trip.
OPTION 2: Watch the Transporter on TV and order pork ribs and a large Mexicana pizza.


Since I've already ordered the food I guess I've sort of already made my decision.
God this movie is good :D
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Happy St. Patrick's Day!

SHOPPING: I love when I don't have to buy a complete set of groceries, just random odds and ends, because you can make such a random backstory. Example: Today I bought an electric toothbrush, cream, balloons and a bag of potatoes. Maybe I'm making electric party mashed potatoes, who knows?

FISH: Fish = delicious.
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This weekend ROCKED!
I got to hang out with my honey, be in [livejournal.com profile] melissajane14's friends film (as a dancing extra and as an emo corpse), go drinking with Bonz, and got to fish with Chadi this afternoon, and then I got to clean a fish! And now I have fish marinating in lemon juice, lemon salt and hot peri peri sauce :D

So today I have been covered in both fake blood and fish innards. Quite a good day all up :)
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