The Year of Earth

I loves my step-bro (but not in a gay way).
He just rang with two possible jobs for me- full-time gardening job with reportedly very sexy pay and another mannying job that he thought might be "a bit basic".
Tough call because I like gardening and lifting shit but I also like working with kids.

Sub-plot: of the four people I had to get in touch with today the hardest was the phone company and the easiest was the capoeiristas, so it must be opposite day.

I was mad at you and I guess I took it out on a perfectly innocent plastic potato,
T.

OK seriously, what the hell is a twizzler? People just keep mentioning them. Is it a lolly? Chips? Some really uncomfortable avant-garde underwear experiment?

Turns out seafood gumbo doesn't keep forever.
That was really gross.
On the upside my fridge is now gone so I HAVE to get takeaway :)

My daddy was a TV, my mommy was a magazine,
T.

Here's how Harry Potter would be if Hogwarts had the same problems as a regular school:

Dobby appears and gravely warns that "Harry Potter must not return to Hogwarts!...There is a lice outbreak."

Ginny terrifies Tom Riddle's spirit with thousands of pages of Draco/Harry slashfic.

Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans include "pot" and "brandy nicked from the Dursley's liquor cabinet" flavours.

Anyone attacked by a cockatrice must provide a signed doctor's note if they are going to be petrified for more than two days.

Moaning Myrtle would have an emo fringe.

Snape fails his mandatory police background check for being a FREAKIN DEATH EATER.

The Dementors patrol the school grounds looking for Sirius Black, but they all have to wear badges saying "Visitor".

Phone repairs will cost up to $150. Bugger.
Two more boxes packed. Woot!
Finished all my Dexter DVDs, very satisfied :)

Just like a dinner party, but we all have sex after the sweets,
T.

So yeah, he's a sociopathic serial killer and she's an emotionally-damaged divorcee, but watching them trying to have sex when she's scared of it and he doesn't understand it is actually kind of...cute. They're so polite about it all :D

God I love Dexter.

In other news, here's my Sunday in brief:
*The apartment's become a nest, there's boxes and junk everywhere, and this morning I had to get out, so I headed to the beach.
*Beach the First had a completely full car park so I went to the nudist beach down the road, but had to trek across the forest, old military forts and bluffs to actually find it. Took twenty minutes to get to the damn beach, but definitely worth it. Water was chilly but I got some decent sun before the storm rolled in.
*Headed straight from the beach to have lunch with Jo and Fer, was great fun :)
*Got back to Jo and Fer's place and Jo had too much work to do so Fer and I spent the afternoon in Borders, where I bought all of season one of Dexter.
*May have found an apartment that contains neither a smoker nor a cat, woot!
*The 14 CDs of awesomeness are now burnt to Sleek, including a very cool Black Eyed Peas song that samples Jack Johnson!

I will be your Berlin wall and I will never fall,
T.

Gladiators is a weird show. I have a crush on Angel the Gladiatrix, and WOULD have a crush on Amazon (she fits my type pretty well- fit, mohawk, mildly sociopathic) except she sets off my transgen-dar.

Anyway, hottie warrior women aside, the show is just...odd. The marketing makes it look like they're gonna beat the ever-loving tar out of each other and then it turns out to be guys in mandex hitting each other with giant q-tips.

I just can't imagine standing next to a woman who keeps acting like her hand is a viper striking and not giggling. She did it like ten times in the show. She did it more than she talked. And she looked so damn SERIOUS about it, like "fear my hand, for it contains VENOM!"

I will say this though, melissajane14 is right- if I was a 12 year old this would be AWESOME!

playtex, foam, angry expression- I'm good to go!
T.

Ever since I was a little labra-monkey I've needed durable stuff. I always quickly wore out shoes, glasses, jeans, etc. The trend continues...

*Tom walks into 3 store, explains his phone stopped working on the weekend to nice lady Erin 3 (I figure they all take on 3 as a last name, like the Suicide Girls).
*Erin 3 opens the case and has a look.
*Erin 3 explains phone has water damage. A LOT of water damage. Gives Tom the "Did you take this piece of delicate technology swimming?" look (not the first time Tom has received this look).
*Erin 3 then notices the display is cracked. Asks if it is melted. Tom explains it is just cracked. Erin 3 shifts gears to the "Did you take this piece of delicate technology with you while playing football?" look (again, not the first time Tom has received this look).
*Upside: Tom apparently has nice "customer loyalty" points and can upgrade to pretty much any phone in the store. Erin 3 suggests the phone with the crystal display (you can stab it with a knife and it won't scratch!) but Tom opts for a chunky monkey phone instead.
*Downside: seems like only half the sim card transferred properly so I'm out some phone numbers and pictures, but hopefully will get that sorted soon.

Did you see the pool? They flipped the bitch!
T.

I was munching on some mini-easter-eggs a minute ago, and I just finished the last one, but I can't shake the feeling that there's one more that I've dropped somewhere. Which is interesting, because I'm in bed.

Looks like I'm in for a chocolatey sleep.

What goat?
T.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

SHOPPING: I love when I don't have to buy a complete set of groceries, just random odds and ends, because you can make such a random backstory. Example: Today I bought an electric toothbrush, cream, balloons and a bag of potatoes. Maybe I'm making electric party mashed potatoes, who knows?

FISH: Fish = delicious.